


Dave: Be The Ninja Master

by gooberAscendant



Category: Homestuck
Genre: M/M, Temporary Character Death
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-05-21
Updated: 2014-05-21
Packaged: 2018-01-26 01:04:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 420
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1669031
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gooberAscendant/pseuds/gooberAscendant
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Fill for the prompt: Remember when Dave and Karkat sparred for the first time and it was an utter disaster?</p><p>(HSWC Bonus Round 1)</p>
            </blockquote>





	Dave: Be The Ninja Master

“What the fuck was that, Strider?” Karkat threw his hands up the air. “I could have killed you!”

“Dude.” Dave sat up from his prone position. “First of all, you can’t kill me. I’m a god now, remember?” He stood up, still a little wobbly. “Second of all, fuck you.” He bent down and picked up his sword. “And third, I’m just warmin’ up. Gettin’ my muscles all stretched out, y’know? Didn’t think you were gonna go all hardcore on me so early.”

“Yeah, whatever you say, oh master of prissy human martial arts. Can we maybe do this for real this time? We don’t have forever, and I want to be in top form when we get to the new session.” Karkat assumed a defensive pose once again.

“Fine, whatever.” Dave readied his sword. “Just be ready to block this sicknasty flurry, bro.” He leapt forward, but ducked to the side, flashing around behind the troll as fast as he could, and unleashed a series of rapid slashes, making sure that if any attacks landed, they would not be life-threatening.

Karkat stumbled about like a doofus. An aggravatingly quick doofus. He gracelessly blocked every one of Dave’s strikes. How was he this fast and this uncoordinated? Like some sort of shitty alien Superman. Wait. Superman was always an alien. Some sort of shitty nubby-horned Superman.

“Wow, that sure was brutal, shit-stain.” Karkat rolled his eyes. “Let me know when you want to stop yanking my bulge and give me a real workout.”

“Really, man. Quit talkin’ about your weird alien genitals.” Dave tried to hide his heavy breathing.

“Why, too aroused to fight me properly?”

“You wish.” Dave smirked.

“Well unlike you, I’m actually taking this seriously.” Karkat waved his sickle around in the air for emphasis. “I’m tired of being the weakest fighter on my team, so can we please get on with the fucking ninja training you promised me?”

Weakest fighter? How tough were the rest of the trolls? Was Terezi going to rip him in half if they ever got to– Dave shook his head and focused on the task at hand. Time to break out his best strife motifs. He rushed Karkat again, bringing out every trick he could in his wild assault.

Karkat’s sickle punctured Dave through the chest. He slumped to the ground. “Oh my fucking troll jesus, Strider!”

A clock tolled. A bright light shone. Dave rose from the ground, uninjured. “Okay, listen. I have some good news and some bad news.”


End file.
